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Everytime I seem to look up, a bird shits on me..


Why does the world build you up with so many expectations that you have to withhold? Why do we have to have lots of friends? Why do we have to like certain music and certain people? Why are we not allowed to disagree or argue with people? We always have to be so fucking polite. It’s annoying. Just say what’s on your bloody mind already. I LIKE having differences and I LIKE being told the truth. Continue reading “Everytime I seem to look up, a bird shits on me..”

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LIFE IS A ROAD, AND AM A NISSAN


Life is just a bundle of ends and beginnings; stops and starts, like, like a car. Life is not a continuous journey, in my eyes, life is billions of pauses, pit-stops and junctions. I’m tired of traveling towards an impending end. I’m tired of driving in the same direction, at the same speed everyday, only knowing that you’re going to reach an end. Who knows what happens after this road ends? Maybe it’s a dead-end and you’re stuck in the same place for the rest of your life or maybe there’s a wall which you crash into or maybe there’s a nice little road that takes you to a nicer, sunnier place. We don’t know. We don’t need to know. But knowing that I’m not going to crash would be nice. Speeding up to get to the end faster would be nice.

The nagging feeling may disappear and I might not be so tired of the next road ahead. All of this is, of course, a bunch of metaphorical crap for my pessimistic view of life and I apologise greatly for this. Sometimes….sometimes… Not making much sense makes the most sense (that’s confusing) Continue reading “LIFE IS A ROAD, AND AM A NISSAN”

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HOW TO BE PERFECT 101


 

I salute you. Thanks for checking in as you have always. Welcome and enjoy this piece.

All my life I’ve tried to be perfect and I have now created guidelines on how to succeed:

  1. Be realistic and accept that you will NEVER EVER EVER BE perfect because wanting to be perfect is just going to make you crazy.
  2. Smile. Smile when you are happy,sad,angry,bored,confused and most importantly when you are around old people.
  3. Be nice to people you don’t know or care about. For instance,open the door for a stranger or compliment someone in the street{ and don’t forget to smile}
  4. Laugh at jokes that aren’t funny to make the joke teller feel awesome.
  5. Do your hair and makeup like you are a model{i can’t help with this am afraid, but remember to be unique but not too crazy}
  6. eat a healthy diet and exercise like stupid perfect people do.
  7. Dont get offended by any comments that anyone says to you because YOU ARE PERFECT AND THEY ARE JEALOUS.
  8. Be smart but not obnoxious because obnoxious smart people are the worst like come on don’t be a dick.
  9. Do what you want to do as long as its nice and friendly plus its normal.
  10. Realise that being perfect is hard work and actually sucks ass and you could be spending your time doing better things like eating a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and watching netflix or reading a good book to design your future. Like seriously, trying to be perfect is over-rated anyway, just be you…haha

I hope you enjoyed my guidelines but all I can truly truly advise you on is to be yourself and if you do all you’ll shine like the stars. You are all perfect in your unique way and I hope you believe that.

Nice time my perfects.

Until next time…xoxo..Joseh the blogger.

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KALONGO “CHIC”


 Everyone has played kalongo,the ajua and hide and seek games while in childhood. If you didn’t then I can manupulate one for you next time. At least for me to drive the point home well for you.

True friendship lives in heart, which is why one does not need to converse daily or even spend time with their friends to strengthen their bond. Friendship has been defined as a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people- a strong form of interpersonal bond than an association. I value friendship ,thats why one of my best song remains,’That’s what friends are,’ by Dionne Warwick, Steve wonder , Gladys Knight and Elton John who assured us of undying friendship because that’s what friends are for.  Growing up , I saw a real friendship. In fact, I even knew all of my parents friends- there was a lot of house visits then. Today people meet in restaurants.friendship006[1]